my hobbies include eating and complaining that i’m getting fat
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
the only people who call me cute live 7000 miles away
Can i find someone like Spike..
I want someone to go get a soul for me…
Meep. All of the feels….
When someone compliments you: What. Why. Why are you lying to me what do you want from me wat
When someone compliments your friend: SEE. I TOLD YOU. OTHER PEOPLE NOTICE TOO. HELL YES
shoutout to mozzarella sticks